That look, that feeling

“Heart-pounding”, that feeling its exciting when is a cause of something good, good like love. One of my favorite feelings 🙂

Last year I was living in California, and my sister found me a part time job, I didnt like it at the beginning but later I started making some friends and the job wasn’t bad, it was a nice atmosphere. Most of the days my work hours were schedule to close the store, from 5:00 pm-11:30 pm or sometimes until 12, it was a retail store and since I didn’t have a car, some of my co-workers offered me to take me home, I lived really near my job, just a few blocks but walking at night alone hasn’t been my favorite thing to do, right?

One day, the guy from the shoes department started talking to me, I was having a bad day so I didn’t pay much attention to him, in fact,  I didn’t like him, later that day he made me a joke, I thought he was the supervisor of my department and he passed by my side and told me “hey you, go to break now” so i was like ” ooh, ok, going” and then he stopped and turn around and told me “no no, Im just kidding, I work in shoes” and I was like “-__- funny! i thought you were the supervisor” ( I know it was a good one, but i was in a bad mood, of course now I laugh at that !) .

Usually we worked at the same schedule, days and time, and we started talking more and more as the days went on, so he started to take me home at night after work, and one night he asked me my phone number “just in case” (like he said) haha… he lived near my house, and that same night he started texting me, just random things, like what was I doing and that, but it was nice because we used to laugh even by text, that was the night when I realized that  maybe I like him hahah but I didn’t pay that much attention.

I don’t know why but after that day, we didn’t work together as usually before 😦 but every time I heard on the radio that he was already there I used to pass by his department just to say hi, and he always stopped whatever he was doing to come with me and he helped me to fold some cloths in my department or he was just there standing by my side making a conversation or saying funny things, but not on purpose, he was just like that and that was the best part, that he was just being himself.

Sometimes I used to found boxes of shoes in my department in places that obviously a costumer would not leave them, so I always took the boxes and went to give them to him, until I started to suspect that someone left the boxes not “accidentally” and yes, I was right, one time he told me “hey! you found that one haha I thought you wouldn’t see that one!” but at the same time he looked like he tough out-loud, so we just started laughing and finally he told me “hahah, ooh wow, yes I hide them xD” so I just started laughing !

One time at work the lights went down and we had to lead the people outside (it was scary but funny because everybody started making silly jokes and comments) anyway, that day he took me back home and every time that he drop me we used to hang out outside the gate of the complex waiting until someone came and opened the gate for us, it was just a pretext of course.

The best part, but not really :/ was when I had to move outside CA, I told him one day at work  that I was living by the end of next week, he looked sad and he tried to spend more time with me at work that day, he even told me about some “plans” that he had made in his mind about taking a class together for next semester, because we went to the same school but different classes and schedule of course, but that week we got of from work at night so every day since that date, we used to stay outside my house talking until 2:00 or 3:00 am hahah, what a great days 🙂

One day he ask me to go out with him, he didnt tell me where we were going, but he used to joke that he was going to steal me and we just laughed at that hahah, well, he picked me up and I said “Well, were are we going?” and he answered “Oh, wait, you will see, I am gonna take you to a place really nice so you want to come again and never forget that” , I just smiled and said  “oK ! ” but on the inside there it was that belly-twisting and heart-pounding feeling, awesome. He took me first to his favorite place to eat, and after he told just started driving and I asked again “hey, tell me now, where?” and the answer was “uuh, you will see, we are gonna go to be on top of the world, haha, yes, you see that light on top that hill?” (that light looked really far, so i didnt believe him) and I  said “yes i can see ” “well-he said- that’s were we are going to be 😀 ”

It was a great road, we were talking about many things and all 🙂 until we arrive to the place, yep there we were, next to that light that seem far away from where we where at the beginning, and he told me “see? I told you I will take you here, next to this light” . it was reaaally windy and cold! So we were hand in hand sitting on little wall, looking all the city from above at night, it was beautiful. He told me that night that we would buy a webcam so we can talk on Skype, and that he will make an account , he is not that much of having social reds and all that because he is pretty busy most of the time :/ he has two jobs and goes to school too, he even told me to stay and be a dancer there at a Disney show or something, because that is what I want to become, a professional dancer, anyway, this happened after Christmas, and we had a great time on Christmas eve, because we saw each other at night and when to the beach to take a walk, he was supposed to be with his family and I was supposed to be with mine but we took a little time and decided to go to take a walk to the beach together, it was one of the happiest and unexpected Christmas eve 🙂 .

The day I had to move came, and we had to say goodbye one night before, saying to take care of each other, keep in touch, be nice with people and dont forgetting each other. I believed that we will be in touch but something inside told me it would probably wouldnt happen.

I knew he has a pretty busy life, and he one time told me that he didnt want to make a promess and keep it on distance because probably it wouldnt work, but we said we will keep in touch one way or another. He even told me one time to dont get mad or feel bad if he didnt answered my texts right away because he would be working or at school and I know that. We used to text each other wishing a nice day or something like that, he used to call me once a month, and I used to send him photos of places that I was visiting here, he usually answered my texts and all, but suddenly he stopped doing it, but anyways I kept sending him stuff, until one day I decided that maybe it was enough, but like one week after I decided that, I was on my way to school and he called me, asked me how I was and a few more words but he told me ” hey! dont thing that I already forgot, send me more photos and text me!” I explained to him that he didnt answer anymore but he told me that he is busy with both jobs and school.

After that we continued texting but just a little bit, until one day he didnt answer or call again…  The last time I knew something about him was 2 months ago, I dont know what happen, but I know that he is ok, its just that I dont want to ask “what happen” , I guess I’m afraid of the answer.

It’s funny because he always looked at me different, I dont know how to explain it but I’m sure that I will never forget that look, I am glad that I met him because he is a good guy and he has learned from his past life experiences to become a better person and I learned from him too, I hope I hear something from him again, someday, I know that things dont come to us if we dont look for them , but I am not sure if I want to know more about this or if it’s just better to stay like that.

Maybe if you read this you could thing that this is not a big deal, and probably it isn’t, but what is right for some people is wrong for others but  today I just feel good that finally I put this story into words and remember its to live again 🙂 that is why memories are the best.